Splendid Gentlemen

Before I start, all of my friends have told me this is a terrible idea. 

At the start of December, everyone was doing their usual Spotify Wrapped thing, and maybe because I don’t use Spotify (I use Apple Music, but I am one of those weirdos who still buys CD and and I own a lot of vinyl) I was feeling left out. Not only because everyone was posting it, but also because not only are all of my best friends musicians, they’re also songwriters too, so they were posting their 2023 Artist Stats and maybe I just wanted to be involved. So I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny to rate the best and worst first dances of the year.” I will be honest, at the same time, my brain did say, “This is a fucking terrible idea, Dee. Why would you court disaster this way?” I thought, why not let democracy decide? So we did an Instagram Poll and everyone else seemed to think it was a good idea too. Now, I know when I say, ‘good idea’ it was probably meant in the way you say “Shitebag if you don’t” to your pal, hoping they’ll do something dumb but amusing. But Democracy hath spoken! So, here we go…

I will, however, first preface this with a disclaimer: I’m not saying the ‘best song’ is the best song, as a matter of fact, and the worst, which unfortunately someones song has to be, is the worst. This is purely how we, as subjective human beings, with our own musical taste, feel about the songs we’re asked to learn. It may not come as a surprise to you that our job involves sometimes playing songs we don’t personally like in our set. Personally, I want to vomit every time I even picture The Proclaimers’ faces in my mind, and would happily throw rocks and spears at any speaker that dares play an Ed Sheeran song in my presence, but no one wants to end a wedding with Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden, so we play what people want to hear. Such is our role in life. So please keep in mind that this is very much meant for entertainment purposes and it is only our opinion. So….lets start with the 3 best.

In 3rd Place:

Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows (Acoustic version)

This one was just really cool to do because it was so different. Normally this is a song we can properly rock out to, fuzz pedals set to the max. But we were asked to do a slowed down, stripped back, acoustic version, and do you know what? It’s actually a lovely song when you slow it down, with a kind of dark, but sexy vibe to it. I do have a plan to record a version of it at some point, so if you keep your eyes on our socials you may see it one of these days. 

In 2nd Place:

Shinedown - I’ll Follow You

We’ve actually done this song for a first dance a few times now and it just suits us. It’s a big, rock ballad, but still a beautiful song. “I'll follow you down to where forever lies. Without a doubt, I'm on your side. There's nowhere else that I would rather be.” Are these not perfect first dance lyrics? We’ve done this song both acoustically and full band. This year it was the full band version and it was so fun to play.

In 1st Place:

Jimmy Eat World - Chase This Light

We all agreed that this was our favourite, but for me it was very personal because Chase This Light was the album that made me fall in love with Jimmy Eat World. A pal of mine burned a copy on a CD for me back in the day. I’d heard The Middle, but I’ve always thought it was so-so as a song. But the album Chase This Light was amazing and the song Chase This Light was my favourite on it. So to be asked to do this for a first dance was a joy to do. 

Other Honourable Mentions:

Coheed and Cambria - Here To Mars

Belinda Carlisle - Heaven is a a Place on Earth

Chris Cornell - Patience

And now…the main event. I’m very aware that most of you reading thus far couldn’t really give a fuck about the best song and that you’re all sat patiently waiting for the impending car crash that is us naming our least favourite first dance. So, before I ruin my career, let me just reiterate that this is only our personal taste, and we treat every first dance as professionally as we possibly can to do it justice because we know it’s a song you love and it has such significant meaning being a first dance. It had to be someone, so if it’s your song, we are very sorry. It just wasn’t our taste. 

Drumroll please…

The 2023 Lest Favourite first dance is…….

Runrig - Proterra (Extended live version)

Sorry, sorry sorry. Please dont 1* review us. 

Runrig are a very divisive band. I have a friend who loves them. She’s from the highlands and she tells me of her childhood trips back to the highlands where they’d sit in the car, as a family, driving home up the A9, blaring Runrig all the way back to their highland home, the whole family singing along. This is her happiest childhood memory and every time she hears them, she’s filled with a sense of pride and transported back to that happy childhood memory. 

Conversely, for myself, if I die, and it turns out there’s a Heaven and Hell, I will undoubtably be sent downstairs, for multiple reasons I will not be naming here. There are stories of how Hell isn’t just fire and eternal damnation, but that each of us has our own Room 101 in Hell, where our own personal Hell is lived out, for all eternity. For some it would be seeing their children taken for them, for others, it would be drowning, or war, or famine for all eternity. For me, I would be in a van, on the A9, driving, always driving, to a gig destination that never arrives, listening to Runrig, on a radio with a broken dial, that cant be turned off, or turned down. Just Runrig and the road, on for an endless forever. It doesn’t help that I’ve had to hear Loch Lomond 100 times a year for 13 years either. So, as you can imagine, learning this song wasn’t my favourite moment of 2023.

In a cruel twist of fate, I did do the Apple Music equivalent of Spotify Wrapped and 4 of the songs were Mark Lanegan songs, but there at No 4. Runrig - Loch Lomond, for all the times I’ve played it at the end of weddings. Cruel blow, fate. Just, cruel.



And there you have it! Our 2023 Wrapped. Again, this is only meant in jest, and it’s only our opinion, so please don’t take offence if your dance was ‘the one’. To be fair, the wedding we played it at was a great night, and we had an amazing time. 

After tonight I am off for a month, so can go hide under a rock until this scandal blows over. Happy New Year everyone. Same again in December 2024.